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Chasing the Sugar Dragon

...plz send Pocky and Pinky Mints!

7/16/05 08:44 am - So long LJ!

Well here's my last post.  Haha I know "again", but this is it for me.  For whatever reason Emi is uncomfortable with me being here, so I'll respect that and go.  You know I'll always love ya, Em^^

Anyway I loved hearing from you guys and reading your own journals.  It's going to be hard not to go right to LJ out of habit when I open explorer.  Haha I'll probably have to delete the bookmark so I don't.

Mike, as always your posts made me think, and laugh!

Sel, you are so much fun and so cute!  No matter how shitty of a day I had your posts always cheered me up.

Katie-girl, and Bas!  Was always nice to see how the ultra elite of FFXI lived XD

OMG how am I going live without Jrock tabs? 

It makes me so sad to write now.  Em was the person that talked me into making an LJ in the first place ;)  I looked forward to coming home and finding a new entry from you everyday, and I love hearing from you.  You are one of the coolest friends I've ever had.  Going to miss you so much it hurts, but I'll always find strength just from the thought of you.  So many things that we shared.  So many things we went thru together.

Here's some random links that always make me think of LJ and the friends I had here:


http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?ibblcgl67qk, http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?ic29mixnj78, http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?ic971ucfzp8, http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?ic71tw1n4pes







My FF Slideshow (kinda random images since I always forgot to take pics lol): http://home.comcast.net/~bensctw/BensFFs.wmv a little over 5mb

7/16/05 07:17 am - Don't press my button!

Go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Freddie Highmore makes the perfect Charlie, and of course, Depp pretty much is Willy Wonka to begin with ;) Such a good follow-up to Finding Neverland. I can't wait to watch them both back to back, heh.

(also the squirrels are great! lol)

7/15/05 07:35 am - Not that anyone here gives a shit...

Due to financial problems, among other things, I may be offline for a few weeks. I'll still be able to check in every once in awhile from school, so no worries you can still ignore my posts, w00!

Also I'll be in Manhattan Wednesday thru Friday for an NBC affiliate conference. Yay, I can mingle with even more arrogant ego-tripping local news "celebrities" that I can't stand lol. It will be nice to see NY, tho I'll only have a couple hours every night for it. Maybe I'll just never go home.

7/14/05 07:10 am - I'm back, b'beh!

Stuff on a cat.  o.@a  haha

I snuck out to the trail last night, against doctors orders :P  Felt so good to be riding again and thankfully there was no blinding pain.  Hopefully they will let me get back to training and running next week.

I'm really stressing over money right now.  I haAAaaaAAaaate it!  Have to ask my parents for a loan, which is going to feel like shit.

Hahaha Just saw something on hurricane Emily on the news ;) ::imagines a hurricane pumping out cyber trance and raining down pina colada::   Think I'm going to sign up for the JET program so I can check out Japan for myself after this year of school, w00!

Anyway, off to the station.

(Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tomorrow!!!!)

7/9/05 11:52 am

Jumping cats!

7/8/05 01:07 am - Restless with a side of severe boredom...

So while I wait for my stoopid legs to heal up I'm kind of a shut-in.  It's really starting to drive me crazy.  I've watched nearly every flic I have that I can force myself to watch, my fret fingers are now too sore to practice with (I just kinda sit around with my guitar in my lap), the games on my PC only go so far... sigh.  Also I've eaten nearly everything in my kitchen.  I've been making some really weird combinations with what's left.  Surprisingly peanut butter and frosted mini-wheats are kinda tasty lol.  I really need to get some new books too.  Don't get me wrong, I love re-reading good books, but some new brain candy would nice.  Since I can't really work my legs much, I've been messing around with what few free weights I have here and doing crunches like every hour lol.  Once a day or so I think to myself "I really should start that new Hide sketch"... but haven't gotten around to it.  Maybe today, heh.  Fished out some old short stories and notes and put in some writing time.  I think I juggled tennis balls for close to 3 hours yesterday haha.  Hmm, I should make a fort! w00! 

7/6/05 05:29 am - Gummi genocide

I've been taking things pretty easy lately, due to tendonitis in both of my legs. Sadly a countless number of gummi bears have been sacrificed.

7/5/05 12:17 am - Runner's oh my fucking god OW!!!

Holy shit, I've killed my legs. My legs are dead. R.I.P. legs. I'm in so much fucking pain right now, lol.. heh god ow!!!!

7/4/05 09:19 pm - o0o0o0o0o Ahhhhhhh


7/4/05 04:44 am - Is it 5am already?

w00!!!! Yay for days off! I really stayed out too late the past few nights. Lauren comes from an ultra rich family (score!lol) so she doesn't work much when not at school. It's getting tough to balance my schedule with late-night Lauren life. buuuut it's so worth it ;)

Mmm, Easy Mac. Enter the diet of the poor college boy.. man.. am I a man yet? Pfft nah.

Hmm, wondering what Em and Selena are up to right now. Bet it's something fun! XD

Had an awesome run tonight. The stars were intensely clear, and there was no traffic. I've never been much of a distance runner. Sprinting had always been my thing in HS, but now I'm really starting to enjoy it. Plus it gives me some time out of everyday to listen to my iPod and think about stuff.

Time to collapse onto my bed.

6/29/05 05:38 am - Yup awake again...

"When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep... and you're never really awake."  I'm seriously feeling that now.  It's weird how I've been working longer and training harder then ever before yet my sleeping has gone crazy.  I only get in 2 or 3 hour spans of sleep at a time. 

So after about two months I dropped in FF again.  OMG what a massive time suckage device this game is.  I'm at that point now where I feel that if I completely quit and delete my account,  I wouldn't regret it.  But...  I just can't bring myself to do it yet.  I dunno why, I mean I never even play it really.  I guess it's just that I put so much time into it and made so many memories within the game that it's hard to say goodbye to it. Damn you, Square-Enix.  Here's another $15 to you for probably 1MB of character data that's on one of your servers.

hmm what else...

One of my old prof from Kendall has been bugging me lately to set up a website for my portfolio.  It's a good idea sure, but I'm still hesitant to put my work up for everyone in the world to see, steal, ...mutilate, lol.  Plus that means I'd have to finally pick up a new digital camera, which is still so far out of my budget it's laughable.  It's not like I couldn't grab a cheap one, but the thing is I don't want to blow money on something I won't be completely satisfied with.  I think maybe I'll take some of the smaller works I have and scan them in at school and maybe set up something temporary for now.  See how I like it and go from there.

Lauren is really cool, and she's alot of fun...  which is what worries me.  This is my last year in school, my last year in Michigan for awhile most likely, and I don't want to get into a serious relationship only to hurt her when I have to leave.  Not to mention the fact that I have very little time and even less money.  It's going to be so tough tho..  I can see already that if I let myself, I could definitely fall hard for her.  Sigh.

So, who wants to skip out of work and go see War of the Worlds with me? ^^/  It's refreshing to see Spielberg go back to his roots.

oh and,

Have a safe trip Emi and Selena!!!!!!!


6/26/05 09:49 pm - "Don't lick my boat. It'll get sticky."

I'm soooo tired.  Stayed out til 5am with a girl I met at the beach and her friends, then had to go to the sailing class, w00ooozzzzzz...

Emi and Selena take off for Japan in 4 days!!! @.@;  So until then... enjoy some Engrish!


That last one is my favorite XD

6/26/05 05:00 am

Yay for getting home at 5am!! XD

6/25/05 12:00 am - Runner's high...

Whew, it's so damn hot out again!!! Went running a little later than usual tonight. I think my mind kept finding things for me to do so I'd put it off lol. The last few times I had been getting killer shin-splints, so I layed off of running for a few days.

Since I moved, I've been running an old farm road about half a mile down the 4 lane highway that runs past the apt complex. Now if you live in Michigan you know what kind of road this is ;) It's a narrow 2 lane just-paved-for-the-first-time-ever road that has no level ground stretches, unless you count the 20 or 30 feet at the top of each hill. So it's kind of brutal at times, and when I started running here it was very rough until after a week or so. Now it just feels like a good workout, unless it's so hot that ice-cream evaporates instead of melting... like tonight, haha.

I've been so down this week, and when I began to run I could feel that "What the hell am I doing this for" feeling starting to grow, and every step felt like a struggle. Most times I can lose myself in whatever my iPod decides to play, but starting out I just couldn't get into it. Anyway I forced myself to get across and down the highway, with packs of cars flying past. After clearing the first hill on 4 Mile (that's the farm road) I started to feel a bit better. There are no streetlamps at all on this street, not even at the intersections. I must have picked the best time for fireflies because they were all over. They stay towards the forest so I never had to run through any. It was really nice despite the heat, with fireflies lining the road's edges and the stars shining thru the few tendrils of clouds overhead. The sluggish feeling that I had at the start melted away, my breathing and pace seemed to sync with the jcrack and random tracks on my iPod, and I was able to run my normal route stronger than I had before. I kicked the last quarter mile the way I used to in HS track and it felt great! I didn't even feel my legs at this point so it was like flying. Walking off a run like that or finishing a track on my bike always makes me feel like I can do anything, and I guess it was exactly what I needed to get over the crap I had been stressing over.

So now I'm sitting here, just after having showered, and already sweating like crazy from the heat, but I feel good.

6/23/05 03:26 pm - Bleh...

I took a big hit eariler this week both to my self-confidence and my wallet, and have been down ever since. I've been just trudging thru things, going thru the motions without really feeling much of anything, shirking duties everywhere, and letting things slide. I usually bounce back pretty quick from these things, but for some reason got my ass kicked this time. I have no energy, no drive to do anything... bleh, I hate feeling this way lol. I am starting to feel like myself again tho, it's just strange that it's coming back so slowly. I seriously need to keep my head above water and get this part of my life over with.

Random bit of information: My dishwasher is so loud it sounds as if I'm living inside a carwash.

6/23/05 02:13 am - Why am I still awake?

"Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!"

6/20/05 02:04 pm - Congrats Emi!!!!!!!!

w0o0o0o0o0o000000!!!!!! Go Emi!!!!!!!!!

Hehe I wish I could be there to cheer you on when you walk ;)

o0o!!! And congrats to Selena and the Linster too! XD

(I'm at TV8 right now shhhhhh...)

6/19/05 08:39 pm - Yay! The unbearable heat wave is back!

Ahhhhhh, actually had a nice relaxing day today. Breakfast with my Pops on his boat, then sailed around with the kids at the school for most of the day. They are all pretty quick learners this year, so I opened up my hobie a little and took them all over lol. I think next week we can take them out to the big lake if the weather is nice. The rest of the afternoon I spent with a couple of the girls I know who work at the gas dock at Harbor Towne. It's kinda funny how the gas dock works. Boaters are not allowed to fill their tanks, so the girls have to do it, then the 40-something bloated gut beer guzzling boat owners get to stand there and ogle them. I guess it's safer now, but I still feel bad for the girls lol. So anyway they got off work about the same time I did so we sailed around to hang out on the beach. This was basically heaven compared to the rest of my ... month. I think I'm close to throwing in the towel early on racing this year. Between work, my internship, and training I'm killing myself everyday just to keep up.

Homer: "hmm... Hey where's the pain? Arrrhhhgg!! There it is!"

6/19/05 12:02 am - Don't think I'll be able to get up from this chair soon >>

Life as I know it now:

1. Get up after trying to sleep thru car doors slamming constantly, kids yelling, and the guy above me jogging thru his apartment from 1am-5am. Lol I actually had a couple break up right under my bedroom window the other night. That was fun. What do I do, stick my head out and say, "Look it's his fault. Could you wrap this up?"

2. Depending on the day, I go to work or go to my internship. Both suck, and I don't actually get much out of either.

3. Drive out to the singletrack and ride 2 laps (24 miles) on even days, and 1 lap all out as fast as I can on even days. This is really starting to tear me up, even tho I have improved somewhat.

4. Every other day at this time I hit the gym and work both upper and lower body.

5. Run about 6-7 miles every night around 10pm. Sounds rough, but I actually look forward to it now as the peacefull part of my day.

6. Shower, drink this nasty glucosamine supplement I call bong water (real name Joint Juice), and either sit in front of the pc or go hang with friends for a couple hours.

7. Try to sleep again...

Pretty much the same thing on the weekends except for Sunday when I teach sailing out at Harbor Towne during the day, which is a nice break.

It's so tiring not having much free time at all. My body feels tight and sore all the time. For once I can't wait for summer to be over lol... sigh.

6/16/05 07:35 pm - Somebody wind me up again...

Gah, I've been so sluggish and tired today.  Think I'm starting to pay for all the work I've been doing lately, but it's not like I can stop (insert crazy sad laugh here).

Couple really cool links (just for the hell of it)!!  Check 'em out!

 I lo0o0o0o0o0oove  this GAME!!!!  I know I posted it before, but damn you gotta PLAY it!!!!  XD  Plus the second game hits this fall!

  I just found this like 5 mins ago, lol.  The name is kind of misleading, because they have basically every genre you can think of.  If you are into JP stuff at all and stuck stateside, this store will fucking rock your world lol.

6/15/05 07:49 pm - Mmmm

::makes pancakes!::

Stewy: "Click click, bloody click, pancakes!"

6/13/05 11:08 pm - Hmm...

So today... Ah screw it. I'm too tired to type much of anything tonight.

"OMG! There's a bear in my oatmeal!"

6/13/05 12:45 am - BB Tabs! lmao! >D

OMG this is fun to practice on! XD  <-- clicky!   Will be stuck in my head for weeks now haha

All I really want is

And in the morning it's

Cause in the evening it's



I like the way that they

And it's chill to hear them

And I can always make them

From White Castle to the



Back.    in.    the.

There was this girl

around the way!
She liked my home-piece

He said he would not give her

I asked him, Please, he said,

You may!
Her pants were tight and that's

If she would dance I would


We took a walk down to the


I.     hope.    she'll.

Hey me and you should hit the

I asked her out she said

No way!
I should have probably guessed her

So I broke North with no

I heard she moved real far

That was two years ago this

I seen her just the other



Jockin' Mike D. to my dismay. ><;



 to do the dishes

 to clean up my room

 to do the laundry

 and in the bathroom

that's allllllll I really want is

Two at a time I want

With new wave hairdos I want

I ought to whip out my

Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls!
Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls!
Girls Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrls! Girls! Girls! Girls!

Yeah.. ;)

6/10/05 11:13 pm - Vegi-coolant

Decided to go for a late night run tonight. Should have been nice and cool right? hahahahaha-no. So I'm sitting here defrosting a bag of broccoli by letting it sit on my head.

Weekend, b'beh!!!...is what I'd be saying if my internship didn't extend to weekends :/ The youth sailing school starts Sunday which should be really fun tho ^^ Other than that my summer is shaping up to be work, training, school, gym, and some more work.

I need an escape.

6/10/05 12:11 am - Yay!!!




6/9/05 04:21 pm - Enter the ever fantastic world of local television broadcasting...

Started my second run as a intern PA at our local NBC affiliate today.  Luckily I'm not babysitting (woohoogurl: Sitting on babies? lol)any of the "talents" this year, lol.  The editing room is pretty cool and our supers are all pretty nice, and for once informative.  Also I'm not the only PA there this year, so I'm happy.  It's kind of funny to see the weathermen scramble to explain why the "wave of thunderstorms" that should have hit yesterday are no where to be seen hehe.  I know it's not an exact science, but at the same time they are using millions of dollars of equipment to come on the air and say "It's going to be partly cloudy." or my favorite "There's a 20% chance of rain."  When isn't there a 20% chance of rain in Michigan?

In other news, lol...  Got my new team Coast Riders jersey when I went to check in at the shop today.  It's finally a decent design (blue,orange,white), and they went with the much softer and super expensive mesh that fits perfectly.  Think I'll throw it on and run the Egypt Valley singletrack for fun.  Even tho technically we are not supposed to wear them out of competition, lol screw that!  I look too good in it to pack it away 'til raceday ;)

Kimi no yume ga kanau no wa
dareka no kage janai ze
kaze no tsuyoi hi wo era nde
hashitte kita

6/9/05 12:03 am - I give up.. ::turns on the AC::

Dayyyum it's still hot and humid here!  I can't wait for the full week of thunderstorms that's coming!  I love thunderstorms!  Especially during the day when everything goes dark and the trees start blowing around like crazy.  Best of all it will kill this unbearable heat wave.

So if you haven't heard I bought a guitar. XD  The MG-115c (only decent pics I can find online are here) It's sooooooo nice!  When I'm home I pretty much always have it in hand, strumming lazily.  When I take it to my friend's place for lessons I sit it in the passenger seat of my jeep and blast jrock, hehe.  Took so much just to find a place that would ship one to the US.  Originally I was looking for the Crystal Jr, but that was sold out everywhere and with a little (a lot) of help from a friend of mine, we found the mg-115c for about the same amount as the jr.  Hehe and yah Beautiful Morning with You, by the Pillows, is fun to practice with, Emi^^

I really should go get some sleep,....  but I don't feel like it.

Fry: "You mean you have to choose between life without sex and a gruesome death?  Tough call."  By the way, wtf is up with Don's drunken literotica posts? lmao

6/7/05 10:30 pm - Tadaima! :D

Damn it's hot tonight! I just came from the gym, showered, and am now sitting here, in nothing but boxers, still sweating lol. Anyway, I really missed you guys ^^; and Live Journal, so I'm going to start hanging out here again when I can. Being that I'm in my new place I should have more time for it too.

What I'm doing this summer(not as cho kakkoii!!! as some girls I know have it this summer haha XD):
1. Work ...bleh!!!
2. Internship as a PA for WoodTV8 Grand Rapids ...omg bleh!!! I h~a~t~e local news personalities. Most think they are minor celebrities instead of journalists.
3. Hit Michigan's MTB Cross Country and Short Track circuit as much as I can and maaaybe snag a pro-sponsor for next season. XD Norba b'beh!
4. Teach kids how to pick up beach babes at the Harbor Towne youth sailing league. haha >D
5. Stow away on a pineapple boat out of Hawaii to Japan ;)
6. Sail my Hobie, lay out on the beach, and relax as much as possible until school starts again.

Okay, seriously I need to take another shower before jumping into bed now. What's with this heat? Feels good to be surfing/adding to LJ again ^^

Clean the wave, clean the waaaAAAA'aaave
The sky is undergrooOoound
Allllways above me
Clean the wave, clean the waaaAAAA'aaave, clean the waaaAAave
The sky is underground
Always above me
Always...hmmAlwayeeyays... ...ALLWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

3/29/05 03:44 pm - Kupo?

All of you in FFXI still, check this out ;)


3/27/05 02:00 pm - OMG the SUN! w00t!

It's so0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o NICE out today!!!  I drove around with the top and doors off my jeep for about 2 hours, lol.  Took my bike out on the singletrack.  It was muddy and still frozen in places, but felt like waking up after being in a coma for a year!  Feels so good!  I know the temp will drop tonight and I'll be forced to change out of my shorts and t-shirt, but I'll go as long as I can stand it ^^

Ordered these shirts from Wizzywig on Friday!  I'll probably just alternate between the two of them all summer long haha!


...but what my new mission in life is to find this!  I'll have it by the end of summer!!!  It WILL be mine! muahahaha!:

 Crystal Jr goodness  mmmmmm!

Gots ta go!  ::runs outside and does backflips until his legs give out!:: w00!

3/21/05 03:59 am - PRESSURE!!!! (wheeeeee!)

Well this is it. The last week crunch to get everything in-line for my move, not to mention my final essays and film projects ::sweats!:: I work well under pressure... hmm in fact that's pretty much the only time I work lol, but this is pushing it even for me^^; Anyway if I sound frustrated or disappear for awhile, it's just because I'm trying to focus... or have been buried under mounds of work and am desperately trying to reach my cell phone to call the fire dept.

Gah! Emi and Selena are going to the Pillows concert in NYC!! XD Too cool!!! I wish I had the time to catch it ; ;

3/20/05 08:47 am - w00!!!!

SPRING!!!, b'beh!

::runs outside and yells at the snow!::  ><;

3/19/05 07:18 am - ::pokes the sunrise::

Ended up staying awake all night for st.patricks day after all, so my sleeping is all messed up again hehe. Was watching The Ninth Gate late last night because nothing else was on. The flic was really weak, but it had Johnny Depp so I kept watching. I can honestly say he's one of my favorite actors. lol, Even tho he's been in some really bad flims, alot of the others are my all time favorites. Must get my hands on the Finding Neverland DVD! Hmm, I haven't shaved in the past two days. Maybe I'll sport the Jack Sparrow goatee for awhile, yarrr.

3/17/05 01:54 am - sleepy...

Well I'm sticking around^^; Tho I am moving into a new place during April so I may be offline for a few weeks, bleh. I have my entire life in boxes lol, well... excluding Moxie hehe. G'night!

3/15/05 10:34 pm

Your Career as a Deadly Assassin (LJ) by maxgallagher
You first killed at age18
Your victim wasYour brother
Your trademark weaponSawed-off shotgun
Your reputationGraceful and poetic
You work withdonslice
You kill forLove
In the end, you are defeated bybluequrl999
Your deathVenemous snake bite
Your career body-count686
Quiz created with MemeGen!

3/9/05 03:48 am

Bleh, what a long day....  sigh.  Sleep!


Random Link of the Day:

3/7/05 06:34 pm

In the dark, and seriously confused...

3/3/05 03:17 pm

I need adrenaline
I need love
The skin I'm in is breaking up
I need something to satisfy my lust before I start to cry
I need to feel the rush inside
Spaced-out, face-down, based-out, coming down
I take my highs where I can find them
I know the lows are right behind them

I want a 24 hour buzz
I want it 24 hours a day
I want a 24 hour buzz

3/1/05 10:07 am - GO AWAY SNOW!

Classes canceled, road's closed, the marina is closed... normally I'd be having a great time, lol, but I have the worst sinus headache ever felt by man! ><; uuuuugh, won't go away. Someone fast forward to July please!

UPDATE: okay so this is turning out to be a pretty shitty day. My headache has matured into a full on cold, and worse yet, my mother called and had me take her dog, the cutest and sweetest 8 year-old rotty you'll ever meet, to the vet. Well the vet's quickly became the animal hospital. Her red blood cell count is extremely low, her stomach has shrunk to nearly a third of what it should be, and they couldn't locate the tumor that is causing this with an xray. Now we are just waiting for the echo to come back from the lab, but after all of this, I think we are saying goodbye ; ; God I love this dog too. She's so warm and friendly with everyone. A big black and tan teddy bear.

2/26/05 07:15 pm - blah...

Bored out of my mind.
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